My Blanket

All of my experiences are a  continual weaving of the most beautiful tapestry. So many different threads, colours, textures and patterns woven together. While some corners of my blanket are tattered and torn, other parts are vibrant, they shimmer with light. Some experiences have been heart breaking, others are the happiest moments of my life, some fade with time, while others stick like glue. All of them have sent me on an amazing emotional journey of self discovery. They are all turning out to be equally as beautiful, no matter what they felt like at the time. Everyone of them has become an integral part of me, the very fabric of my being. They are not seperate from me, they continue to mold and shape me, all of them make me who I am in this very moment, they happen for me. I am like a piece of clay on a potters wheel, continually becoming new, with a different glaze, I am thrown often. As I learn and grow looking back upon my experiences through a kaleidoscope of colours, twisting and turning to see all the patterns, I perceive them differently through time. What once crippled me often becomes my greatest ally, my deepest teaching, I can always find and feel the beauty amongst the muck. I couldn't always though, sometimes I got lost in it, I thought it was seperate from me, I became it and it swallowed me. I have learned to slowly be with it, feel it, over time it becomes different, it changes form. I believe we have come here to have a plethora of experiences, kinda like a smorgasbord, some things are delicious and others not so good. We can pick and choose some of them, but the ones the universe serves us, the ones that knock us off our feet, they crack us open. I am ever so gentle with these delicate layers of me as they rise and rise again, as these waves of transformation come to the surface to be met. I wrap myself in my blanket, feeling deeply held, connected and supported as I enter the waters of my tears. Through stillness I gain insight, until the next time I ride a wave again.